Sunday, September 18, 2016

Blogging Like a Sloth: The Ever-Present Struggle to Write

I've come to a revelation lately.

No matter how I try and plan, I can't seem to be that consistently churning machine of well-written reviews and blog posts the way so many other bloggers seem to be (of course, I mean machine in the highest regard, as it amazes me how well people can handle these time commitments.) This blog has been nothing short of a disaster, with my probably shining moment in July of last year, when I was actually posting at a decent rate and then in November, when I was involved in two blog tours. Other than that, this endeavor has seemed to fall apart on me.

I can blame a lot of things, but mostly how I juggle time. I am a terrible at time management and most mornings, I go running to class after blearily getting out of bed and just barely making myself look presentable. I have problem sets to solve and ongoing stream of homework in addition to keeping it together and while I would love to abandon myself to living in the world of reading, it's a little more than unrealistic. Life, mainly school, have dictated that it must demand more and more of my time, and I rarely have the chance to sit down and read anymore, my only options being hurriedly reading via transit on my phone, a terrible habit. However, call me stubborn, but I cannot let go of the idea and potential this blog holds to me, especially because books have guided so much of my life, consume most of my free time and money (not going to lie though, book buying is such an expensive habit).

The only issue is that every time I think of my blog, I am overcome with such a awful feeling of guilt and remorse and anguish, it almost feels like a neglected friend. But what I've recently been trying to embrace is that it's okay to not be the type of blog I might have aspired to be when I first started, but focus more on genuinely enjoying the posts I write and books that I feature on here. In my self delusion that I wasn't a real blogger because I didn't post constantly, I'd lost sight of what I wanted to do when I first started this blog; that is to share my thoughts and love on books in my own personal way.

So an adieu to the ridiculous and unrealistic promises I made to myself and this blog, and I'd like to consider this my restart of this blog, where I'll present my most honest and passionate thoughts about specific books, and literary discussions in general. I'm promising myself that above all, not to fall into the constant trap of uncertainty and conformity, but instead trust my own heart and mind. I have some pretty special stuff I want to share, one of which will brought to you by my one of my dear friends and yours truly, something I'm very excited to share.

And welcome to Airy Reads, where books, food, and sleep reign supreme.